Skip to content

Coralie’s Birthday

9th January, 2011

The Boys in Blue

29th December, 2010

Crimbo has arrived

11th December, 2010

 

Ben & Froggy

7th December, 2010

Sam does Wii Fit Yoga

6th December, 2010

 

Obligatory snow pictures

2nd December, 2010

To the citizens of the Republic of Ireland

23rd November, 2010

Date: Thursday, 18 November, 2010, 10:10

 

To: The citizens of the Republic of Ireland:
In light of your absolute incompetence in running your own affairs, by
continually electing the same shower of useless, greedy and corrupt
politicians, the shocking financial crisis of the last 3 years but most of
all your complete inability to bring anyone to account for this mess or take
to the streets to demonstrate your anger, Her Majesty feels compelled to
take immediate action.

You have had 88 years to get this right but have made a complete hames of
it. You cannot blame the mainland for this one.

Additionally, because of your total fascination with supporting English
football teams (and 1 Scottish), and almost total failure to support the
Airtricity league. This is an obvious expression of desire to be British.

The final straw was the announcement of Prince William’s forthcoming
marriage appearing on the front page of all major Irish newspapers and
headline TV news on the very day Europe were trying to finalise the takeover
of the Irish economy. This clearly demonstrates a sub-conscious desire to be
British (and NOT European!).

Therefore, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, and
effective immediately, Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume
monarchical duties over the Irish Free State.

Your new prime minister, David Cameron, will appoint a governor for Ireland
immediately.

Her majesty’s government is extremely concerned that Ireland has already
given up it’s sovereignty to Brussels and Strasbourg, the European Central
Bank, the International Monetary Fund and anyone else you can borrow a few
quid off so is taking this action to protect both the people of Ireland and
to restore the British Isles to it’s proper status.
Dail Eireann and Seanad Eirann will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be
circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. All current
TD’s will be immediately re-deployed, some arrested and tried for treason.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules
are introduced with immediate effect:

1. The Irish language is not banned, but will no longer be part of the
school curriculum, no longer share equal status with English and all signs
in Irish are to be removed immediately. They are pointless. TG4 will be
disbanded

The word(s) feck, fecker, fecking are banned – you are not fooling anyone.

2. RTE will be disbanded, you all watch BBC, ITV and Sky Sports anyway. The
money saved will pay for Road Signs.
3. March 17th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
4. Bacon and Cabbage are hereby banned – no one likes it. Similarly,
Abrakebabra is banned immediately and will be replaced with handily placed
kebab vans within each district. Indian restaurants will also open until
4am.

5. You will re-learn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen.
6. Road Safety:
a) Gay Byrne is sacked as chairman of the Road Safety Authority. Whoever
thought the smuggest individual ever to grace a TV screens could possibly
help?
b) All major traffic light intersections will be replaced with roundabouts
c) The imperial Mile measurement is to be re-introduced with immediate
effect.
d) All learner drivers are banned from driving alone with immediate effect.
e) All African driving licenses are hereby immediately revoked.
f) All persons who received a full driving license in the “amnesty” are also
banned from driving until they sit the test.
g) A new Garda Traffic division is to be established to patrol shopping
centre car parks for cases of extremely bad parking and driving the wrong
way round the car parks. Fine of £100 and 3 points

7. ALL tribunals will cease immediately. The money saved will be spent on
new easily visible street signs.

8. DRINK: The price of a pint of beer is to be immediately re-aligned with
UK prices – £2.50 a pint.

The restricted number of pub licenses is to be removed immediately, and a
Wetherspoon’s will be opened in every town centre throughout Ireland, along
with an O’Neill’s proper Irish pub.

Guinness is to be rationed to 3 pints of day per person. It is for the
greater good.

9. The Euro will be phased out over the next 6 months and replaced with the
Queen’s shilling.

10. Dressing up 8 year old girls in wedding dresses is also considered an
extremely unhealthy activity.

11. You will cease playing all Gaelic games. All GAA facilities will be
handed over to the English cricket authorities. Cricket will become
mandatory in all schools.

12. Please tell us what happened to Shergar..
13. An inland revenue agent from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you
shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1949).

14. Talking of 1949, Ireland will be immediately re-admitted to the
Commonwealth and therefore allowed access to commonwealth country trade
markets but more importantly have a better chance of winning medals at a
major sporting event.

God save the Queen



Relaxing & awaiting pizza after a long fun day.

20th November, 2010

Sam with Bella

20th November, 2010

Letting sleeping dogs lie

3rd November, 2010